Pain

Woo now that I have a thumbdrive I can blog easier! Just type it on my work com (which now is the computer I use the most in my life), copy it over, and paste it when I get net access. Heh. Looks like I’m doing work too. :X

Anyhow this lil thought meandering was done a few days back… Monday 7th March to be exact.

Due to bad sleeping posture, lousy bed, strain the day before, and whatever other factors I don’t know of, I contracted the painful malady known as a ‘stiff neck’. To those who have not suffered from it before (thank God you haven’t), tilt your head sideways to one side, then try gritting your teeth so your neck muscles are stiffened and stretched. That’s how it feels like, with the added stabbing, aching pain that blazes across the entire length of your shoulders should you try to move from that position.

Of course, gravity doesn’t care if tilting your head will make you scream like a baby.

So I had to work for a day in that manner, head jarred to one side, and making yelping noises vaguely resembling a howling wolf with asthma every time I moved one neck/shoulder muscle too many. Even applying copious amounts of tiger balm was insufficient to staunch the terrible ache; it worked for a good hour or so, but the pain would soon return, usually with a vengeance.

Somewhere during the day it occurred to me that my mood had soured much due to my condition, some part of me felt that since I was in such a painful condition, I should be given pity, and even excuse.

That was a slap in the face. Just the day before, I had visited my friend’s boyfriend, an ex-fairsian, who was in a critical condition in NUH’s ICU. His body was bloated by water retention, skin red and swollen. Every machine-aided breath he took was barely enough to bring life to his body, much less complaints about his condition. Here I was, blessed with a mortal body of much health, given life and breath with which much could be done, and but a little pain and I was complaining?

This also led me to think of suffering. There’s a popular saying “No pain, no gain”. This is technically true, proven later in the day when I went for a jog (it does wonders to a stiff neck. Fastest way to cure it IMO). But what happens if the pain is there, but the gain isn’t? Many things in this world seem to happen to many people, and much of the time no one seems to see the good that comes out of it. Verily, many times it seems the pain and suffering measured could never be offset by whatever good that came from it.

What’s your answer? I’ve got none, save that I believe my Lord God is in control… and that He will carry us through. I can only pray that that is still my belief when my time of suffering comes.

In the mean time, when you’re faced with pain, be it big or small, fleshy wounds or emotional scars… I guess the question to ask is how you’re gonna respond to it?