its been a busy month.

i don't feel very Christmassy.

this is the first time in... perhaps my entire life, that i don't feel that good, crazy vibe that usually comes along with the season.

i actually just hope it gets over soon so i can finish off the things that are making me feel o so uncomfortable... at least, thats how i feel now. I still love Christmas.

but i think i feel so differently about it now. i was thinking of writing a few articles, like 'rage against the fat red man' or 'consumerism aint Christmas' or 'a big empty hole where meaning used to be' or something like that... goes further really. but not today.... too tired.

i guess the biggest reason i feel this way now is coz i look at myself, and then look at the birth of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

and then i remember what my pastor told us (in words other than what follows)...

Christmas is the day that marks the beginning of the death sentence of Jesus.