Dear diary...

Dear diary,

I ripped my shirt while at work today. I wish I could say that it was from my rippling muscles (which do not exist) but it was because I used my shoulder to push open a door and my sleeve got caught on that little metal plaque that reads "PUSH" and momentum betrayed me.

Damn. There goes my $80 G2000 shirt that isn't even 3 years old.

Damn.