Little Lost Things

Let me tell you something that happened this morning.

Early this morning, got up at 600 as usual, lazed around till 630, finally got up, washed up, and dressed up for the day. 645. perfect. Did my morning QT(which taught me alot, ask if you're interested), and at 715 prepared to go down to the cookhouse for breakfast. Whipped my camp pass out of my wallet, got distracted by the unfolded blanket, started folding it, tidied up my bed/area, picked up all my usual items(handphone,wallet,keys,bible) and... horrors. my camp pass was missing.

Must have put it somewhere when i was tidying up, thought i, and so proceeded to search my body/bag/bed/cupboard/area/going crazy mind as to where the heck it could have dissappeared to. Did i drop it last night when booking in? No, quite certain I put it back in my wallet(a habit) after flashing it to the gate guards. Or did I? The thing about me see, is habitual actions do not register on my memory very well. (Did i lock the door? Did i forget a regular item? Sorta things.) So I went a little mad, told my bunk-mates to help look a lil, called the guardroom to ask if by some careless mistake of mine i left it there or dropped it in the vincinity there, turned my entire area inside out. NOTHING. By then it was already 815; the others had gone down to the offices (work starts at 8), so there i was, perfectly good morning ruined to pieces by a dissapearing trick i somehow mastered by accident.

I was close to giving up, must have lost it somewhere, but i couldn't give up! no i can't, i didn't want to be punished for some random error that i seemed to have absolutely no control over. Hit me to pray, after all, Christians are supposed to give all things into God's control, even a super minor lil crisis like this. So I prayed... calmed down a little; decided to search the whole floor of the bunk; perhaps it well, flew somewhere. Got on my knees, started crawling like a baby, peering under beds and cupboards to see if my source of worry could be hiding from me among the dust particles. at a certain point, i crawled close to my neighbour's bed (about 2 meters away) to check the underside of his area more carefully. nothing. So i got up, (knees were hurting, man babies got some treshold of pain) and lo and behold, camp pass sitting on my friend's crumpled blanket on his untidied bed.

thanked God like crazy for a few minutes after that.

Went down at 830, a full 1hr15mins after i had planned to go down. But my pass was with me, i had a song in my heart, and a lil more wisdom to tide my life with.

Do I attribute this to human mistake? Yes I do. But I feel God has taught me an invalueble lesson; as much as I believe that I can really trust Him easily when a crisis hits me, He's shown that I don't. I've got alot more to grow, and a lesson learnt that its never, no matter how much you think you can really let go, going to be easy to face problems in life. It will still hit you like a brick in the face (or a stone tied around your heart), and you're suffer because of it, but its really in those difficult stressed out moments of life that you choose to trust in Him, instead of dropping into human wisdom, that He really really becomes more real in your life than you could ever imagine. Won't say how, coz it differs from person to person.

In normal human wisdom tho; it really pays off to calm yourself. You think a whole lot clearer, and besides, with the weather in Singapore you'll start sweating like a pig.